Yes, there is. You could have taken advantage of me during the time I was ... behaving strangely. It would have been trivial to do so, and I would have obeyed without a second thought.
No, that wasn't my question! Well yes, actually, I suppose it was, in a way. And of course, we'd all prefer mutual interest, that's obviously Who wouldn't want mutual interest, after all! It goes without saying. I'm sorry, this is a silly line of questioning.
[Smooth.
And yet, she continues after a few minutes of silence.]
It's just that, you know, I never really considered that as an option for myself back home. It's not that I think it's wrong or anything! Just it never occurred to me that I might, you know. Also be like that. But here I've had some interesting experiences and it's a little confusing!
This probably isn't appropriate for me to bring up, I'm sorry. I know we barely know each other.
[It's just been on her mind, and this is the first opportunity she's had to think about it. And talk about it.]
there has never been cause for her to put her feelings on this into words. Her "feelings" on anything were barely worth noting at all. Socializing barely had a purpose in this instance, and yet...]
Does your confusion come from doubts in your mind over whether you feel attracted to women or not?
Or does your confusion come from outside. From fear of others' reaction. From shame at the idea of what they will think of you. From the teachings of society or religion over what is "right" and what is "wrong".
I see. That makes sense, thank you. I think it's the first one. Back home, I can't imagine that my friends would judge me for it, and here it's perfectly acceptable.
It's just making me ask questions about myself that I never really asked before. I've enjoyed, um, being with women. Well, a woman. So I know I enjoyed that. But I'm not sure if that's now "what I like."
![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
wetworking) wrote2019-11-19 10:07 am
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I wanted to thank you.
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There is no need to thank me.
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You could have taken advantage of me during the time I was
...
behaving strangely.
It would have been trivial to do so, and I would have obeyed without a second thought.
But you didn't. I am very grateful for that.
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That is all.
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Or as kind.
So thank you. I'm eternally in your debt. Please let me know if there is anything I can do to make it up to you.
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Or to make such a generous offer.
[if a girl like that did such a thing to the wrong person... what is she even thinking.]
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Did it really seem that generous? I thought it only seemed proper to offer. I'm in your debt, after all.
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I doubt I'd be able to make it up to you in any real meaningful way.
Moreover, it is a figure of speech, isn't it?
Is there something wrong with my thanking you?
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It's not wrong, merely wasted.
You can make it up to me by being more careful, then.
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I just wanted you to know that I'm grateful.
[There is a pause, and then a followup.]
So, does your earlier comment imply you are interested in women who are interested in you?
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...]
If you're asking with the intent to find out if I'm interested in women over men, then "yes".
And I prefer mutual interest.
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Well yes, actually, I suppose it was, in a way.
And of course, we'd all prefer mutual interest, that's obviously
Who wouldn't want mutual interest, after all! It goes without saying.
I'm sorry, this is a silly line of questioning.
[Smooth.
And yet, she continues after a few minutes of silence.]
It's just that, you know, I never really considered that as an option for myself back home.
It's not that I think it's wrong or anything!
Just it never occurred to me that I might, you know.
Also be like that.
But here I've had some interesting experiences and it's a little confusing!
This probably isn't appropriate for me to bring up, I'm sorry. I know we barely know each other.
[It's just been on her mind, and this is the first opportunity she's had to think about it. And talk about it.]
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You either are or are not.
[... but then again, she's always been the sort to simple decide and then execute. Confusion was a waste of time, Contractor or not.]
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How do you know if you are or if you aren't?
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Does it come from within, or without?
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Could you elaborate?
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there has never been cause for her to put her feelings on this into words. Her "feelings" on anything were barely worth noting at all. Socializing barely had a purpose in this instance, and yet...]
Does your confusion come from doubts in your mind over whether you feel attracted to women or not?
Or does your confusion come from outside. From fear of others' reaction. From shame at the idea of what they will think of you. From the teachings of society or religion over what is "right" and what is "wrong".
That is what I mean.
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I think it's the first one. Back home, I can't imagine that my friends would judge me for it, and here it's perfectly acceptable.
It's just making me ask questions about myself that I never really asked before.
I've enjoyed, um, being with women. Well, a woman. So I know I enjoyed that.
But I'm not sure if that's now "what I like."
When did you know that it was what you liked?
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And your family?
[Bitterness was a pointless emotion... yet though she would never let it interfere with her missions, she knew it well.
Just as she knows her answer isn't a helpful one... But it's her answer.]
I always knew.
You may just like "her". That is for you to determine.
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[It's simple and honest. Why beat around the bush about it?]
And yes, that's what I'm trying to work out. If it's just an attraction to this woman, or to women in general.
But thank you for talking about it with me. I do appreciate it.
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You'll probably need to try a few more women, then. It should be easier in a place like this.
I was simply available. You don't need to thank me.
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I'm not sure I'd know where to start doing something like that... the idea of "trying a few more women" just makes my face heat up.
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Use the "moonblessing". That's a start.
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Just... go out and find people? During the moons?
I could never do something like that, I don't think! That'd be a little embarrassing.
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Otherwise, you just wait until you happen to find a woman interesting or not.
It's up to you.
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I can try, after all.
Maybe it won't be for me, but I won't know unless I do, right?
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If you try and don't like it, just stop.
[simple]
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You tried it, and found you liked it?
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And I liked it, yes.